Navigate Running into People From the Past with this Mindset Shift

We can feel nervous running into people with whom we've had uncomfortable experiences - but we forget since we last saw them, we've changed. Whenever I've had a bad experience with someone, I hated the idea of running into them. I always found myself overthinking about what I would do or what I should say.

When Anticipating the Future Creates Nervousness & Overthinking

An experience with my Uncle helped me think about this with a higher perspective. I had spent a summer in college living with him and my Aunt & during that time there were moments where I know he wasn't happy with me. Ten years went by before I could see him again, and when we made plans to get together for dinner I found myself overthinking about whether I should be apologetic or expect to have to assert myself in some way.

When we got to the restaurant he gave me a huge hug and said "wow it's been about 10 years, that's crazy!" And something in my mind just clicked - he was right. The last he time saw me, and entire time I had been overthinking was from a mindset of 10 years ago. This is an example of how nervous feelings can cause us to project expectations onto future encounters forgetting we're no longer who we used to be.

My Uncle wasn't expecting to see the person he knew back then. He was looking forward to hearing about what I had accomplished for myself in the present reality. This example shows how we can alleviate anxious feelings by changing our mindset - if we hold ourselves prisoner expecting the same version of ourselves as well as the same version of other people we forget about our capacity to grow and waste time overthinking.

Navigate Running into People From the Past with this Mindset Shift

If you feel nervous about running into someone you used to know, challenge the way you think by considering how much time has passed, and contrast that with how you've evolved in that same timeframe. If your mindset is focused on consistently bettering yourself, you're evolving every single day.

With the example I gave earlier, this could look like:

• "10 years has passed and the way I view myself is much different."

• "My loved ones and their perceptions have also likely evolved during this time. "

• "Even if I feel nervous running into this person based on the dynamic when I last saw them, I may be meeting a different version of them than I've been used to seeing."

Conclusion

It's not easy to run into people from the past, but you have what it takes to develop the best version of you! For more content like this, follow me across platforms to Elevate Your EQ®.

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