Heal Perceived Rejection with this Mindset Shift
- The Softest Heart
- Aug 10, 2024
- 3 min read
Updated: Jan 5
When we're out meeting new people, we can feel hypersensitive towards how we're being perceived. The experience feels out of our comfort zone, especially when we're attending an event alone, and perceived rejection in these settings can hurt more than usual.
The fear of rejection combined with societal expectations to fit in can feel nerve-wracking.
I had someone call me the other day and tell me about a similar personal struggle. This person had already been feeling lonely, and was looking forward to a networking event, only to attend and experience disappointment when he didn't have the outcome he was expecting.
People around him were unfriendly, and he had been looking forward to meeting new people and finding a sense of community.
The Key Word Here is "Perceived"
This is an experience to which we can all relate - entering a new place hoping to be accepted, and struggling to deal with feelings of disappointment when the people around aren't very welcoming.
Shifting our mindset to alleviate this mental burden starts by considering why people behave a certain way, and seeing their wounds before we sacrifice our mental peace.
Heal Perceived Rejection with this Mindset Shift
When people go to social events, they're looking for a familiar face. Some people are looking to reconnect with old connections, while others find a sense of security in cliques. As an outsider it can be hard to make any headway.
I remember experiencing this myself when I would attend networking events. I would find people usually pre-planned who they were connecting with in advance, and others were in their head feeling self-conscious about how they being were perceived. It was easier for them to mingle with people they knew. I would see the same groups of people, often with their back turned to a crowd of new people walking in because it was a way to comfortably mask their own vulnerabilities.
So the mindset shift in these uncomfortable moments of perceived rejection comes from a question you ask yourself - when you're feeling triggered by other people's "rejection" of you, can you see their behavior as an extension of themselves?
Based on the answer to this question, can you release some of the stress you feel? Do you see an opportunity to address internal insecurities about public perception?
Sometimes, Rejection is Purposeful - See This as an Opportunity for Change
Other times the exclusion we experience is purposeful. See purposeful rejection as an opportunity to refine where you spend your time. If you only attend events which give you a sense of purpose, or feature something you genuinely want to learn, you'll never feel like you're walking away with a loss. After all, rejection doesn't matter when public acceptance isn't the reason why you came in the first place!
Conclusion
Transforming feelings of rejection into personal transformation isn't easy, but you have what it takes to develop the best version of you.
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